Batch 1

On the 2nd of Feb, Poejazzi tweeted a series of instructions to completing the first draft of a poem. The instructions were loose and created space for personal interpretation resulting, there are some of the poems.

How to use a Q-tip
By Luis Antwi
1. Your ears are filthy. You are tired of asking people what they said 4 times before giving up and laughing at a joke that wasn’t told. You have a new love interest and even if she isn’t the ear licking type it would probably be useful to know what she’s saying.

2. They are not hard to find. The transaction: not particularly embarrassing. The local Tesco should suffice. Locate in a clear, circular tub in the toiletries aisle. They will be perfectly arranged. Wear hat to secrete the offensive appendages from the cashiers judging eyes.

3. Your home is befitting of a student. The lock on the bathroom door will be broken for many months to come. Utilise the disabled facilities of a McDonalds. Miss on the first attempt. Success on the second. You fight wax. You are finding this more difficult than anticipated.

4. You push deeper. Cotton connects with grey matter. You twist. You turn. You are losing consciousness in a McDonald’s bathroom. You can taste the rainbow. You decide this is better remedied at home after all.

5. She is outside the bathroom. She is outside the bathroom. She is outside the bathroom and you are red eyed, bloody nosed, swollen lipped with a Q-tip not even almost hidden in a lump of wax attached to your ear. She says something to you. You laugh at a joke she didn’t tell.

We take care of unwanted hair.
By: Deanna Rodger
1. Take out of packet and read the instructions. Hair should be at least 1.5 cm long. Otherwise, no point. Measure with ruler, if so insecure you feel the need to use societies tools to rule your judgement, but common sense should tell you whether your growth is worthwhile.

2. Our competitors will declare their truth to rid you of your excess but believe them at your own peril. Research has shown them to be incompetent instigators of lies and irrational beliefs. Their ingredients are foreign and banned and we take a stand to love our own, use our own and take care to destroy your growth.

3. We advise the use of a bathroom as acoustics make your scream sound harmonious. Product may stain carpet and expose your behaviour. Be discreet and keep it neat.

4. Results WILL be seen if used correctly. It is no fault of the product only the resistance of your hair. These instructions have been thoroughly tested and research has produced data that will take your sue claim into YOUR overdraft. It’s your hair not ours, control it. Your eyes not ours, read again. Your twisted and confused understanding NOT ours, we are clear, concise and have not capitalised with this product through luck.

5. So now you have smooth, even, babylike legs (and whatever else you braved to wax.) Get them out, show them off, feel NO fear. We are one. Without interference.

By Raymond Antrobus
The only things that don’t critisise me
Are the things that hide me
The day is pealing off my skin until I’m inside
out, get away
I don’t want the sky this close to me

But it’s coming out,
And its stopping by with it’s light
And the dry flake of my skin can be powdered
I’m normal and grey but the sky will never know
How patched up I really am.

I go to the lake with my hood on and look down
Into the reflection and dap the foundation onto my features
But I’m still cracking, still in flakes, I still look shattered

I am shattered, I will not look up until I’m plastered
Whole as the moon I am

I peer back into the lake until the lake reflects me
I look up
As the moon I am
and hope the sky smiles back.

The instructions were as follows:
Tweet 1 – 8.30 pm //
There are only a few things to note.
1) Each Verse should be no more than 60 words.
2) You will be given 5 mins to write each verse.

Tweet 2. – 8.30 pm //
Choose a beauty product. You are writing an alternative set of instructions, your title will be e.g. How To Use A Hairbrush.

Tweet 3. 8.35 pm //
Verse 1. Reason. (come up with a need/scenario to use the product)

Tweet 4. 8.40 pm //
Verse 2. Get product. (detail purchasing product, where to go, the market, competitors)

Tweet 5. 8.45 pm //
Verse 3. Find a place and use product. (after the chaos of shopping choose a solitary place)

Tweet 6. 8.50 pm //
Verse 4. Your are dissatisfied with the results. Take it a step further. (go crazy with it)

Tweet 7. 8.55 pm //
Verse 5. End (try and flirt / please someone now.)

Tweet 8. 9.00 pm //
You have 10 minutes to edit.


About Charlotte Morgan Nwokenna

Editor and Public Relations Officer
This entry was posted in Poetry. Bookmark the permalink.

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